Let me explain. We all have things we're embarrassed about or ashamed of, but imagine if that was what you had to use to introduce yourself. The first thing anyone noticed about you. Having a cane feels like wearing a T-Shirt that says "I'm blind and I can't get places on my own. Please help me because I'm not an independent person!"
I want to be independent. I want to look independent. Having a cane makes me have to face the reality that yes, I do need help sometimes. It's hard for me to ask for help because, quite honestly, I'm embarrassed.
With the cane, I actually need less help than I would without it. I don't trip as much because the cane is "looking" down for me, so I can use the vision I have to scan my upper surroundings and avoid bumping into people. Also, the cane alerts others that I probably can't see them, which is both embarrassing and helpful. If I do bump into someone, they are much more forgiving if they have proof that I actually couldn't see them.
I'm about to start the school year at a new school, so I'll be in a new and unfamiliar environment almost every day. I will have to use my cane much more often than I'm used to, so I need to get comfortable with it now. My new school has a lot more services for the visually impaired than my previous school did, so I will be able to learn a lot of ways to be independent as I'm losing my vision.
Has anyone else in the low vision community dealt with this feeling about the cane? No matter what you're going through, you're never the only one!
Until next time,
Semper Fidelis
Proud of you, girl. Keep writing. Keep using that cane. I remember when I had to start using one for my legs. It was so hard, yet helped so much. It really did help others know to be careful around me. And that's both good and bad. I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteFaith I so admire your honesty about your independence. Seeing both sides of the situation shows maturity most people your age don't have. I often tell people if there is a book written about it you are not alone but if I can borrow your quote about that same subject I think it will go a lot further towards comforting those same people. Good luck at your new school. I just know this next adventure is going to be a good one!
ReplyDelete